Monday, June 14, 2010


So, I've been having some issues with forgiveness. I know I need to forgive because Jesus said, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."- Matthew 6:14-15. So there is someone I need to forgive. Every part of my flesh rejects this idea. I don't want to forgive this person... I would much rather kick them in the shins multiple times!!! However, on my more sane days, I realize by not forgiving this person, it is holding me back in my walk with my Lord. I can hold myself back enough, I don't need any more help, thank-you. So, I've tried to start my journey to forgiveness. I'm at the very beginning so I haven't gotten very far yet. But this is the question I've asked myself and God: How do you forgive someone who hasn't asked for your forgiveness and how do you treat them once you have forgiven them, especially if you don't want to be friends with them?
At this moment, when I see this peron, it feels like someone has punched me in the stomach and I can't breathe very well. And on top of that, I get so angry and hurt that they won't just come up to me and say, "I'm sorry". This is so annoying and I would really like for it to stop. How do I make it stop? I need to forgive! GRRRRR....

Anyways, in the book The Shack, the author touches on forgiveness. This is what he says, "Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver, to release you from something that will eat you alive, that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly. Do you think this man cares about the pain and torment you have gone through? If anything he feeds on that knowledge. Don't you want to cut that off? And in doing so you'll release him from a burden that he carries whether he knows it or not- acknowledges it or not. When you choose forgive another, you love him well."

Now, the person I'm trying to forgive probably doesn't feed on the knowledge that they caused me pain, but I certainly don't think he cares very much. This is also very painful. But to let this whole mess continue to upset me, I put my happiness and joy in the hand of this person and thats not where it should be. Therefore, I'm trying very hard to put my happiness and joy in the hands of God, who will never disappoint.

In The Shack the main character asks how to forgive the person who took his daughter away. God says to simply speak it; there is power in what God's children declare. So this is what I've got to do. Declare forgiveness for this person. I don't know how long it will take but it'll get there eventually.